Ten Things I Learned From Speed Racer Cartoons.

1. Snake Oiler and Tongue Blaggard are perfectly ordinary names.

You're fascinating, Mr. Blaggard, but tell us more about your henchman there.

You’re fascinating, Mr. Blaggard, but tell us more about your henchman there.


2. Race-car-mounted rotary saws can instantly cut down thick trees and even remove the stumps.


3. If your name is Rex Racer and you want to hide your identity, put on a mask and call yourself Racer Ex.


4. A car’s trunk can be opened without keys by a small boy and his pet chimp.


5. The first letter in the name “Trixie” is “M.”

"I never even thought about it!"

“I never even thought about it!”


6. Cars can drive up vertical surfaces.


7. If you’ve stolen a fortune in gold and need to sneak it out of the country inconspicuously, have it built into a 200-yard-long “mammoth car” with a crew of dozens and enter it in a televised race.

Nothing out of the ordinary here. Please move along.

Nothing out of the ordinary here. Please move along.


8. A good way to show your youngest son that you love and respect him is to dress him the same as his pet chimp.

"Hello, Child Protective Services?"

“Hello, Child Protective Services?”


9. The first initial of the name “Speed” is “G.”

"Pot, kettle, Trixie."

“Pot, kettle, Trixie.”


10. “Speed Racer” is a perfectly ordinary name.


11. Racecars are equipped with watertight cockpits and periscopes, because racecars are also submarines. Apparently.


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